Post by jasper hale on Apr 24, 2013 13:50:06 GMT -8
The forest was always a source of comfort for jasper from here he could see everything and be far away enough to just escape the constant drone of emotions. They were still present in his mind but that was impossible to remove it was not something he could just switch on and off, as much as he wished it was. This applied for the thirst in the back if his throat constantly their, always wanting him to rip someone's head off which was very tempting in deed, but he knew he could not he had to keep himself from it from. He preferred being on his own as much as he appreciated his adopted parents and siblings it was when he was alone that he could think best and he wanted to get away from them all, it might just be him being paranoid but it felt like every time he entered a room at the moment there were nervous gazes in his direction and he knew what this was about. It was not like he had snapped and gone on a mad killing spree ... as much as he really wanted to that might help settle his nerves and thirst, but then again he could not take those steps back it had been sixty years since he gave into those instincts and he still would not forgive himself for it. If he had in that moment given into his instincts and not be stopped then Bella would be dead and though that would have solved future problems with the Volturi it would have probably sent him further into the outskirts of a family that he was already quite towards the back off.
He silently pushed open the door hoping nobody was around or if anyone Alice, he just needed some space away from them all for a bit and whilst this was not the best place to hide from them all he would only worry everyone if he was not around and that he really did not want to do. It was easy to remain hidden in plain sight with his family he had learnt that had helped him get by with his time with them, remaining silent and observing and learning about their emotions because you learnt so much more from watching than actually talking an interacting with them. Making his way through the house he stood in the living room considering reading a book, but choosing instead to move over to the large glass windows and watch the outside world trying to use the silence to clam his mind. This was home here he did not have to think about killing people and the blood and the pain, here he should be able to let it all go, but why did it always feel like it followed him around everywhere and like he could never escape it.
He silently pushed open the door hoping nobody was around or if anyone Alice, he just needed some space away from them all for a bit and whilst this was not the best place to hide from them all he would only worry everyone if he was not around and that he really did not want to do. It was easy to remain hidden in plain sight with his family he had learnt that had helped him get by with his time with them, remaining silent and observing and learning about their emotions because you learnt so much more from watching than actually talking an interacting with them. Making his way through the house he stood in the living room considering reading a book, but choosing instead to move over to the large glass windows and watch the outside world trying to use the silence to clam his mind. This was home here he did not have to think about killing people and the blood and the pain, here he should be able to let it all go, but why did it always feel like it followed him around everywhere and like he could never escape it.
