Heart to Heart Conversation (Esme)

[esme ann cullen]

Esme smiled softly at the girl. Sometimes it was difficult to think of loved ones and think of all the things you done wrong and would want to apologize for. Even Esme had her own regrets. She wished so much that she had kept in contact with her parents while she was trying to run from Charles. But in her heart she knew that her parents would not have been happy with the fact she had run away. Of course they knew she had, but she had never been able to discuss it with them and explain why. They hadn't even known about her child, about their grandchild. She had kept it hidden, even from Charles. She did not want him to have any part in the babies life. She knew what Bella was feeling, it was a hard thing to go through. In time she would come to terms with her regrets and would push them aside knowing that what ever happened happened and that her parents loved her very much. She was already part way there by the sounds of it and this made Esme happy. Happy that she was a part of Bella's healing process.

Esme smiled as Bella's memories. She had known in herself that this was what Bella was meant for. From the second she knew that Edward was serious about her, she knew that in time Bella would become one of them. And she had been the most remarkable new born she had ever seen. Her smile gleamed as Bella mentioned Carlisle. She laughed softly "They would morn but they would get over me. But I know you would be ready for it Bella. In fact you remind me of myself a little. You have it in you, I know you do. And if anything did happen to me, I'd want you to take on my role. I know Alice and Rosalie also have it in them but they have other priorities. Where as you would fit into it perfectly." She smiled warmly at her daughter.

"I think he was happy the way he was, like you said with Sue. There was always the possibility of it but I think as soon as he fell for Sue, he would never have said yes. He would have made a great vampire though" She lent over and touched Bella's hand. "You've always been worth it sweetie" She stroked the back of Bella's hand softly.

Once again the shiver was back. Even the mention of the Volturi made Esme shake a little. She knew the ball was just a cover for an ulterior motive but they had to play the game. They had decided that the second the invitations came. "We will have enough to protect ourselves, even if it is until some of yous can escape. As long as I know everyone else is okay I dont care about myself." She diverted her golden eyes away from Bella. She knew that she got a telling off whenever she spoke like that. Particularly from Carlisle. But she could not help the way she felt.

[Bella Cullen]

She looked at her mother in law. Truth was the woman was more than that. She was her mother. Not that her birth mother could ever be replaced but Esme was her mother too. Esme had adopted her and loved her like a mother would, and she had loved Esme as a mother too. But Esme was also her daughter’s grandmother and that was all so important. In her past she had no idea what she was getting herself into. But as a mother she had to know that things happened the way they did for a reason. Hiding half of who she was, was hard to do, especially from Charlie, but with her mother it was easy. Losing them was a hard thing to handle, but she was growing a bit stronger every day, knowing they were still with her, even if they couldn’t be physically. A smile appeared on her face as she looked at the woman in front of her. If anyone could handle things, it would be Esme.

She had started taking it into account that she couldn’t change what was so she had to accept things. But her entire family had been crucial in the days after her biological family members were no longer alive. It was part of the healing process and she was thankful for them being there for her. She was getting stronger every day by just taking things into consideration that even though there were regrets, that she couldn’t let that hold her back. She sighed but let out a soft chuckle. “I’m....not ready for that. You’ve always been the matriarch of this family, and I can’t even imagine something like that being your fate. You’ve always treated everyone so well. How you treated me when we first met. I can’t even imagine taking your place...this family would not be the same without you. But do you really think I’d be able to do it, I mean fit in this role that you’re talking about because I don’t see it. Especially since Rosalie and Alice have more experiance than I do.” She replied warmly to her mother. She didn’t like the thought of losing Esme. It was just as bad as the thought of Edward or her daughter being taken from her. Which as long as she was alive, it would never happen.

“He was, happy that is. I could tell every time I saw him. I always hoped he would find someone to make him happy and Sue was it. From that point on, you’re right, he’d never have said yes. I wouldn’t blame him. I mean the idea of not appearing older when the one you love is, it wouldn’t work out. He wouldn’t have been happy without Sue. I know it. I could see it in his eyes.” She said as she felt her mother touch the back of her hand softly. “Thanks. I really do appreciate it. But you made it so easy on me. You all did. I know when I was first turned, I was different from most newborns, as Jasper pointed out....but I think in part of why I was able to resist the blood so much was having had the oppertunity to see it firsthand from you guys. You’re a lot stronger than you think. You all are. I relied on this family a lot more than I let on. I remember the first time I saw Charlie after I was turned...I was so terrified...that I’d hurt him. But you know what got me through it? You, Edward...and everyone being right there....when I needed you most. And that—that helped more than I can ever tell you. I hope you know that."

Still if she was human, a shiver would have occurred. She did not like the thought of the Volturi one bit. It made her nervous. They had no choice but to attend the ball due to the fact that it would look bad if they did not. She knew like the others did that the Ball was a cover for something more, something more sinister. Recruitment...and possibly death. She was worried that Aro might actually try to separate her and her family, to eventally lead them to their deaths but she had to hope Carlisle being his friend might sway him from doing so. “Yes, but I can’t think of leaving anyone behind. I don’t care what happens. This family....we’re only as strong as we stick together. Aro knows that. We are going to go into this ball, all of us together and we aren’t leaving without all of us being there. Even if there’s some kind of battle that comes up. I’ll use my shield. I know I am not the best fighter but I’ll not let anything happen to anyone else. I don’t want to think of anything happening to you. You’re what’s kept this family together for as long as we have been. So don’t you dare talk about that. You may not care about yourself, but think of the rest of us. You know as well as I do that if something were to happen to you Carlisle would never be able to get past it. Nor would the rest of us. Even if you think we would. You’re the heart of this family. I know how you feel, believe me, I do but I know you....better than you might think. I know you would rather have something bad happen to you then one of us. But we can’t think like that. If we do—we’re setting ourselves up to be hurt. Please, I—I can’t imagine losing you. Or anyone else for that matter. You know we saw what happened with Irina....and the pain that Tanya and the other Denali’s went through and I do not want to have to experiance that myself.....if something should happen to one of us. If anyone is going to be put in that situation, it’ll be me. I’m the youngest.” She showed the determination in her tone. It wasn’t an angry tone, but one of determination, simple as that. She continued to look at Esme despite her trying to look away from her.

[esme ann cullen]

"What happens, happens. Eventually my time will come. And with this silly ball perhaps even closer that I would have hopped for. It's always the good ones that go first though. Not that I am saying I am good." Esme chuckled softly. She knew that eventually her extended life would come to an end and she would welcome it. She had been more than blessed having been given a second chance at life. But if it was her time again she could not fight it. She just wanted to know that there was someone there to carrying on what she had started. " Rosalie and Alice would understand. They aren't exactly motherly in the way you are. Bella I know you could do it. Call it preparation for the inevitable." Death was never a subject Esme shied away from. It was a natural part of life and she had to be prepared in the end. Of course Alice could see the end but it was never always predictable.

"You have to take some credit for yourself Bella, you never would have hurtled Charlie. You don't have it in you to hurt anyone. Even when you found out about jake having imprinted you never hurt him. You wanted to but you refrained from it. Don't keep playing yourself down. Your much better than you sell yourself." Esme knew that Bella did not think highly of herself. In the same way that Esme thought about herself. They shared the same problem of lack of self confidence. But Bella was so much more than she said. She was a fantastic vampire and and even better person. Esme just wished that Bella could see herself for who she really was.

" I understand that you would all hurt but if it was a matter of saving everyone else I would do it. If no one can be left behind then that would be idea but if it came to it then I won't just stand around. I would never allow Carlisle to stay behind. But I have a feeling that the Volturi would never hurt Carlisle. They were close friends once upon a time." Part of her was hoping that that tiny little detail would be enough to save them. Aro did want most of the family for their gifts, but if Carlisle said something perhaps he would change his mind? Well Esme was hoping that would be the case anyway. If it did come to a fight they would have a lot of allies, if everyone who was invited attends. In the end I'm sure everyone would band together against the Volturi if it meant that they could each save individual members of individual covens it was a great possibility.

[Bella Cullen]

The topic of her replacing Esme was quite scary to her and she did not like it. It would show in her face as they were talking about it. She would rather not even have that conversation but she knew that Esme needed to know she would do it if she had to. “I know...Mom. But this is...different and you know it. But I know you have faith in me, that I could lead this coven the way that you do...and I hope you're right. I just hope we don't have to test that theory out any time soon. I don’t think Aro would have it in him to kill you. Especially since you have given him no reason to. You’re better than you think. Believe me, I’ve seen it. It’s how you treat people. Even when you didn’t have to. I know in our extended lives.....as long as we’ve all lived, we’re at risk just as much as the humans are. You make the wrong ones angry and you’re in trouble. But I highly doubt Aro would risk an all out war by killing you. He knows how protective we are over eachother. And he knows if you or Dad were killed the rest of us would step up and fight. It’s that simple.” She had never before called Esme, Mom, or Carlisle, Dad but in this point that’s what they were and it was about time she had started to say it. She didn’t even know why she hadn’t said it before. Then again she wasn’t the only one who didn’t call them Mom or Dad most of the time. Not even Edward had called them that all the time, most times like she had before, always called them by their first names. They were very much her parents just like her birth parents were. Maybe even more so now.

She felt like she had been blessed by being with Edward, and living the life she had been granted with. If it came down to it, she would do it all over again. She did not want to die yet, though she had not lived as long as the others did. But the fact of the matter was she was right. If something happened to her, someone would have to step up and take her spot, as hard as that would be. But she still thought Alice and Rosalie should be given a shot since they’d been with the family longer than she had been. “It’s not so much of them understanding that is hard to grasp. It’s....the idea of what it stands for. You know if we lost you, it’d never be the same. You’re right though, neither one of them are exactly motherly the way you and I are. You really think I could....do it? Take your place? Because I don’t see how I could. Let’s just hope the inevitable is a very long time away. Because I want you here...not just for myself but for the others, including your granddaughter.” She told her mother honestly as she gave her a small smile. “She’s already lost her grandparents on my side of the family, my birth family, I do not want her to have to lose her grandparents on her father’s side, so soon. And I don’t want to lose you...or even think about it. This family...we would not be the same without you or Dad. You know that.” She knew that Esme was right that she would never hurt anyone no matter how angry she got at them.

She could remember how hard it was on Charlie and even on Jacob. All those times she had hurt them, albeit not physically but more so emotionally. “I do, take credit but...what you’re talking about....is something different than just saying you’d like me to look after the family when you’re going on a trip, I could handle that. What you’re talking about is if you died...that’s something completely different. I don’t think I could handle that. Yes, I know I never physically hurt Charlie though there were a lot of times where I did hurt him emotionally, like the time I told him the exact same thing my mother had said when she was leaving him.” A small smile appeared on her face at the mention of Jacob...she’d remembered that day as though it had just happened yesterday.

“Jacob got off easy if you ask me. I threw him around the yard. But of course since he’s a shifter it didn’t really hurt him physically. Though I really would have liked to throw him around a bit more than I did. Though my consious wouldn’t let it happen. He was one of my best friends so yeah the idea that he imprinted on my daughter, no matter how involuntary that I know the process is, it kind of set me off a bit. I refrained, as you said, from doing alot more than I did do. I basically yelled at him. I don’t remember ever feeling that way until that moment.” She sighed as she looked at her mother knowing that Esme was again right. The two of them were a bit alike. She could see it.

She took a deep unneeded breath. “It’s hard not to. You know? You’ve looked after this family better than I think anyone could....you keep us grounded....where we don’t fight much, I think we fight less than most human families do. I guess, that’s something I’ll have to work on...to see myself the way that others see me, the way you see me.” She said simply. It was hard to see herself the way that others did. She still to this day did not understand how Edward could have fallen in love with her but she had been fortunate and grateful that he had.

“Yes, we would, but you’re not alone. I’m just like you are. I’d rather go down fighting than to just stand there and do nothing. I couldn’t....do what Kate and Tanya did when Irina was killed. I just know I couldn’t. I couldn’t stand there and do nothing. I know you’d never let him be the one to stay behind anymore than I would if it were Edward.” She smiled once before continuing the train of thought she had started, when they had started talking about her father, Carlisle.

”The Volturi wouldn’t hurt him directly, even if they were friends for a while. It might be enough to save him...and by extension you. Because you know as well as I do that he’d never let anything happen to you. You’re his reason for existing the way that I am Edward’s reason for existing. Aro wants us for our gifts, nothing more nothing less. I know that Aro isn’t quite that stupid to attack us out in the open. No, he’s more calculated than that. Not to mention it would be disasterous for the Volturi given how many covens, if they all attend, are actually covens we are allied with. That we are friends with. If that happens....we would band together against the Volturi...I can just see it happening, not just because we want to take the Volturi out but if it meant we could save individual members of our covens....then that is something I’m sure we all would be willing to do if the situation happened that way.” It had been something she had thought about alot but it had never quite spoken until this very minute. She hadn’t wanted to worry about it. Still, it was a possibility they could think about if and when the time ever happened.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme was quite taken aback when Bella had called her mom. None of her adopted children called her mom, even though she basically was their mother. If she was human it would have brought a tear to her eye. Deep down it was the only thing that she would ever ask of her children. She had never been able to hear her own baby call her mother and that had struck her deep down but hearing it now made her bloom with happiness. Her smile brightened and she looked at Bella with so much love in her eyes. She wished she could cry, she knew Bella knew how much it meant to her to call her mom.

"I'm sorry I brought this conversation up, I can see how upset it has made you." She reached forward and stroked Bella's face. "I just want to make sure that everyone would be okay if it did happen. I'm not going to go and get myself killed. I'm just preparing for if it ever happens. I just want to know that there is someone there that would take my place and hold everyone together." She said it in a soft voice. She didn't want to upset anybody by talking about it but she did just want to make sure that everyone would be looked after. She hated to think that that would be it and they would all go their separate ways if she did die. She couldn't handle to think like that. Even if her time did come she wanted her family together.

It was nice hearing how much people needed her. She never assumed that they cared this deeply about her. She knew she shared a special bond with every single one of her children but she didnt think they cared as much as they did. Esme always shared herself short and this was no exception. She felt bad now for even bringing it up. It obviously hurt Bella a lot to speak about it. She had never really imagined the family without herself or Carlisle. But deep down she knew that there probably would not be a family. She smiled softly at Bella as she mentioned Renesmee. Esme had such a soft spot for her. And it tended to get her in trouble a little. She would give into Nessie at every turn. Even when she was in trouble. She just could not say no to the little girl.

"I know you could do it. The others see that too. But if you do not wish to think about it dont. But when the time comes remember my words" She smiled once more and patted Bella's hand.

She nodded her head gently. The covens were the only hope at the ball. If anything went wrong they had to stick together. It was worry some but if the time came it would have to be done. She was sure that all the coven leaders would band together to save their gifted members. It had happened before and it would happen again. "Everyone will unite, they wont let Aro get away with it without a fight." She smiled reassuringly at Bella. But she was mostly trying to reassure herself. She hid it well but she was terrified. She didnt want to bring her family to their death.

[Bella Cullen]

She looked at her mother and smiled. She knew it had been something that none of the others had called her and until recently neither did she. She loved the smile that she was given by her mother and that was the important thing. She knew how much her mother had waited to hear someone call her mom. They had only said ‘my mother for all intents and purposes’ as Edward had. But Esme had been more than that. Even though she was not her biological mother, she was still her mother nevertheless. Esme had always treated her like a daughter and that was why she had done it in the first place. It was why she cared so much about the woman. She could feel her mother stroke her face and she smiled softly. “No it’s okay....you have to know that someone will step up in case something should happen. It’s just....you know with all of the things I’ve seen, and I’ve seen alot, in my short sixty eight years of life, the one thing I don’t want to think about. That’s all. Doesn’t mean it won’t happen eventually. It will for all of us. Even if we are immortal. But I’ve been blessed to live this long, so if something should happen, I’d accept it as much as you would. We’re alot alike in that sense. If it happens, I’ll step up. Do what I have to, to keep this family together I promise you that. I know you’re not going to go out and get yourself killed, as that’s not the kind of woman you are, or the kind of wife or mother, or even a grandmother.” She looked at her mother and sighed.

“Preparation is one thing, I can handle that...I suppose. I just don’t like the idea of being here...helping keep this family together if you....if something were to happen to you. But I’ll do what I have to as I won’t see this family fall apart, should something happen to one of us. Look at what happened with our cousins, the Denali’s....you know we all lost Irina, and yet it’s brought everyone closer together, despite the loss. Doesn’t mean it’s the same as it used to be, but we all have to move on the best we can with what we’re given.” She said in a soft voice similiar to the tone that her mother had used only moments previously. She loved her mother and so the thought of losing her was hard but she had to come to terms with it. It was just a fear she had, since she’d already lost four parents already, and didn’t want to lose the two she had left. Especially her mother. If not for her own sake but for her daughter’s. “I promise that I’ll do the best I can, if in the inevitable I end up taking your place, to help keep this family together. I won’t let us all end up going separate ways. We’ve always stuck together.....and that’s the way it should remain, no matter what. I know the others would agree with me on this.” She told her mother honestly as she smiled, lovingly at her. She understood that Esme had a reason for bringing it up, but now she had to be strong. The way that her mother always was. Esme protected this family better than she ever could.

The one thing with her mother and father both, as they both had a tendancy to give her daughter anything she had asked for, no matter if she was in trouble or not, as they could not say no to her. It was fine normally but sometimes she had to get onto her parents about it. Especially since they were the only ones she had left. “It’s going to be kind of hard not to remember them. I’ll do the best I can when the time comes but until then, this is between you and I. I don’t want to even have the others even thinking about it. Especially Dad and Edward.” She replied to her mother as she felt the woman pat her hand. She could tell that the two of them had been thinking the same thing. “Yes, we all know that Aro’s going to make a plan to try and gather those who have abilities sooner or later. And when it happens I hope that the Coven Leaders will unite against him. With my shield we should have a good chance...though it can only do so much to help. Though if the time comes....I’m sure there will be loss of life. And we can only hope it’ll be more of the Volturi dying than anyone else in that case.” She was slightly worried about the way their conversation was about. As like her mother she did not want to bring their family to certain death. They were both too protective in that case especially over their other family members. She just hoped it didn't come to that.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme was glad that Bella understood what she was saying. She did not want to hurt or upset anyone, she was just merely looking out for everyone. She knew how hard it had been for the Denali's and she wanted to make sure that if it ever did happen to them that they would be prepared and they would stay together. That was the one thing that she wanted the most was for them to stay together. She could never imagine her family being split apart. She wanted them to be together, even if she was not there to support them.

"I'm glad" She smiled softly. She knew she could count on Bella for anything. She had chosen Bella specifically to take her place because Bella knew what it was like to be a mother. Esme knew how amazing she was with Nessie and knew that she was the best one to take over. Bella just had that aura about her that she would take care of everyone and would make sure that everyone was okay.

"Oh god no, do not tell Carlisle or Edward. Lets keep it between us.." She knew that if Carlisle ever heard her speaking this way he would go crazy. She did tend to say things like this without thinking and Carlisle would not speak to her for a few hours. She knew he hated her thinking that way. Esme was more of a pessimist than an optimist. But really she was just prepared for every possible scenario.

"I hope there is no loss of life on our side." She cringed slightly. She could not even think of her family or friends dying. It scared her more than anything. She would never risk anyones life. But it seemed like they had to for this ball. And there was no escaping it. If they did not attend then they would effectively drawn a target on their backs. Aro would find some way to get to them if they refused to attend.

[Bella Cullen]

It was not a remotely easy feeling to understand but her mother was right. Someone had to step up and take her place should she be killed. Now that did not mean she wanted to see it actually happen, but at least her mother wouldn’t have to worry anymore. She’d do her best to keep the family together. It wouldn’t be easy, but she had seen what had happened with the Denali’s when they had lost Irina. They stuck together like a true family would and she hoped for their sake, that her own family could do the same should something like that truly happen. She would want the entire family to stay together but she would follow Edward anywhere he wanted to go. But she couldn’t imagine him being the kind of man to abandon their father anymore than she would. And Renesmee would never leave her grandfather. That bond was solid. As far as Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett it was something else altogether. She wasn’t so sure how they would react if their mother were killed. She liked to think that they’d stay with the family and that they wouldn’t leave. That they’d stay because they were a family and that they were there for their father no matter what happened. Even in a tragic circumstance such as that.

“Me too, mom.” She had told her mother as she looked at her. It was so different to be thinking of taking care of an entire coven. Sure she knew deep down she would have to find the strength to do it but her mother had faith in her so therefore there had to be a good reason for it. She was already a mother, and had the kind of sense to take care of everyone as best she could. She sincerely hoped that it wouldn’t happen for a very long time but she and her mother both knew the risks when it came to the Volturi. Anything was fair game. There were no exceptions. “No, you know as well as I do that if I said anything to Edward about it, that he’d tell Dad and we’d never hear the end of it. You’re going to have to think of something else when you’re around him though since he can read your mind. And we both know how Dad would react if you even talked like this in front of him. We both know he would be very upset and I can’t say I’d blame him. Because I know how protective he is over you.” It was the honest truth. Esme and Carlisle’s relationship was somthing she had loved to watch. They were so good to eachother, and they had a bond that could not be broken. Not by anything or anyone. “I hope so too, but that’s exactly why I’ll have my shield up. I might not be able to fight but I sure can make it slightly easier for us to fight back. Granted we’ll be up against the Volturi. It’s been fifty years since we’ve opposed them. I’d hate to see them try something at this ball. It’s most likely going to be some kind of recruitment. Some kind of test if you will. I think it’s safe to say that before we even go to this ball, that we should feed first. That way we’re not distracted by all the blood that might possibly be there. I just hope that because he and Dad are friends that Aro might actually leave us alone. So that we can all move on with our lives the way we have for the past fifty years, and hopefully many more years to come. We both know that if we don’t go to the ball, as much as we don’t want to go, that Aro will see that as a reason to attack. Either way it’s like we have a target on our backs.” She had cringed when the subject had turned to death. Like her mother she did not want anyone to end up losing their lives during this ball. She just hoped there would be peace there, but she was going to be prepared in any event should something go south. With the Volturi there was no telling what they would in fact do.

[esme ann cullen]

She could not help but chuckle a little. Bella knew the family well as much as Esme did. Her thoughts were never safe in the house. She had devised the knack of thinking of something else whenever Edward was around. She had practiced well but sometimes she did slip up. Because Edward was so loyal to Carlisle he would always tell on her. She knew that she had to be extra careful now, especially with this. Carlisle would go mad if he knew that she was preparing for her own death. He never understood why she did this, even if it was just preparation.

She knew he just did not want her thinking about it. Because in his head he would always protect her, and would never let anything hurt her. Esme believed that, she honestly did but there would come a time where protection would never be enough. It would happen. It always does in the end. "We just have to be extra careful around them. They get so upset over everything" She said softly. She hoped that they did not find out because that would be a lovely conversation... She was a little worried now just in case they did find out. She hated when people were angry with her.

"I agree. I think we will be fine. With your shield and everyone else's powers we will be okay I am sure. There is also the factor of the relationship that Aro and Carlisle have. We will be fine" She spoke firmly. Trying to imprint the confidence in her head. She wanted to convince herself that they would be fine. Because if she convinced herself that she could assure the others.

[Bella Cullen]

She looked at her mother and she could not help but grin. Being around her husband as loving as he was, she had learned to think of something he would find boring when she was trying to devise a plan that he could not learn too quickly, the same went for her sister Alice. Carlisle would never understand the methods that the two of them were discussing and neither would Edward either. Which was precisely why they had to keep it a secret. Though with her husband being able to read minds and her sister being able to see the future, once a decision was made, that was not a good thing. As that alone could get them both in trouble.

They were all loyal to eachother but each one of them had a certain bond to eachother that the others did not have. She did not want her husband or father to fear what they were up to. It was bad enough they were even talking about it but she did not want her mother to have to go through what Irina had. That kind of death would surely be quick but painful. If only for a split second. For those who remained, it...meaning the pain, would last for an eternity.

It was preperation which was exactly what they were going to have to deal with. Her father was of course just as stubborn as Edward was, they each believed that they could protect their family members, especially their other half, and that they, Edward, and Carlisle, would not let anything hurt them. But nothing was that guaranteed, even for vampires. “That is true, I’d rather not have to worry about making Edward angry, or Dad for that matter. I’d rather not have them angry at us, if we can avoid it. We also have to be careful not to talk about it around Alice either, because you know as well as I do that if we have our minds set on something she’ll be able to see it too.” The last thing she wanted was the whole family at eachother’s throats over this. She knew it would not be a particularily good conversation. “I only hope we’ll be fine. But just in case I think we better be on our best behavior. I really don’t want to have a confrontation with the Volturi at their home...anymore than I would if they were here. We’ve already been through that once. Besides Aro wouldn’t do anything I think to damage the fragile friendship he and Dad have....” She smiled, her confidence need a lift with this particular subject. But she had to believe it so that her mother would too. They had to be sure of themselves in this plan. That everything would work itself out. It was the only way she was going to be able to keep a clear head and keep her husband from finding out.

She’d already seen some of what Edward could be like when he was angry, especially at Jacob and she did not want to be at the end of his wrath. That would not be a pretty picture. Maybe she would have to distract him and they could go to the Meadow where the two of them had gone after they were finally free of the Volturi fifty years ago. But that was indeed a lifetime ago. She only hoped they would not have to use this precaution in which they spoke of.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme loved Carlisle and Edward but they got so angry with her sometimes. They just did not understand her mind set. She knew that they didnt understand so did her best to keep her thoughts in a good place especially when Edward was around. But most of the time it was not hard because Nessie was around and Esme would just go talk to her. Nessie always brightened up the room, she was just a typical teenager really. Well one that had been a live for like 60 years now.

"We will be fine. Even if they do find out I'll just tell them to mind their own business" She grinned softly. Sometimes you had to be cruel to be kind. Pushing her hair away from her face she finally put down the icing bag. She had done the cake. Putting it to one side so everything could set she had not planned her next culinary move. But it was okay because Bella was here now and she would no longer be stuck for things to do.

"We will be fine." She said once more. Moving towards Bella she pulled her in for a hug. They had worried so much today, she wished they were able to just make a cup of tea and have a bit of the nice cake she had just made. But being vampires it was impossible. The little creature comforts of a past life no longer applied as a vampire. She really wanted to lighten the mood but was unsure what to do. Bella was a little difficult that way, she wasnt like Alice or Rosalie. They were such girly girls she could find anything to keep them amused. "Why don't we go find something to do together, keep the bad thoughts away. Its best to enjoy our time just now and think about it later." She smiled warmly.

[Bella Cullen]

Not a day went by that she did not think of what could have happened. She loved her family, especially her husband and their little girl and so she had an understanding how Edward especially could get angry when they were talking about death. She had talked about him once in a while, though it had ben for the most part right before she had been turned. And she understood with her father that it was easy to get angry when one’s mate was threatened. Most of the time she was able to keep her thoughts in place where her husband didn’t have to read them. She was a typical wife and all, protective when it came to her family, simple as that. Whenever her daughter was in the room, a smile lit up her face. It was so hard not to think good thoughts when her daughter was there. She and her mother were the same, too alike for their own good. Her daughter was the typical teenager, as far as a half human half vampire could be, she supposed. She could not believe that she had been a vampire for fifty years as she was sixty eight years old. Her daughter, she couldn’t even believe she was about fifty years old now, but had the look of a teenager. It was quite unreal that there was only eighteen years difference between the two of them.

”You’re right but you know as well as I do that they won’t just mind their own business. You and I both know how Edward is, Dad too. They’d argue with us for as long as it took to change our minds. You know how they’d react if something happened to either one of us. We may be immortal but we’re not invincible.” She told her mother honestly. She knew her mother was only trying to reassure herself that everything would be fine, and all she could do was nod. The one thing she did know was that if they weren’t vampires they would have sat down to make tea and eat a little of the cake they had just made. Unlike her two sisters, she was not the girly girl. She was the one who would rather be out in the woods like the boys than to just go shopping like her mother and sisters. “Well what do you have in mind, mom? As I’m game for anything that doesn’t involve me having to play dress up. But you’re right you know it’s best to enjoy the time we have and worry about the future later.” She thought of all they had been through and was proud to be right where she was. She was proud to call herself a Cullen now.


Cooking was the one thing the two actually had in common, as when she was human she was often in the kitchen, cooking for Charlie, her biological father, and her biological mother, Renee, as well as her step dad, Phil when she had lived with them. It was something that had come as naturally to her as breathing had. Of course Charlie often liked to go out to eat so when she lived with him she didn't get to cook as much as she had liked. Of course cooking for the shifters now, and her daughter helped. The one shifter she always ended up cooking for was Jacob when he came down to visit since she didn't go to La Push anymore since it wasn't safe for her to do so.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme knew Bella was right, they would never mind their own business. But then again Esme never got angry with them. If they found out and got angry this time she might have to push her barriers a little and shout back. She had been told off a few to many times for her own liking and she wasn't going to stand for it anymore. "They will just have to this once." She knew they meant well but she would not have someone yelling at her for this, especially not in the current circumstances. She had to prepare, especially if the ball was just a set up. She would not let her whole family die in a fight if there was a chance of escape.

She hadn't really thought about involving Bella in the baking. She hadn't really thought at all to be honest. When Esme began to bake everything seemed to switch off. She did not pay much attention. Turning to Bella she smiled. "Why don't we make something or bake something? You can give it to Jake or we can take it down to the other wolves later on?" She rarely let anyone help her in the kitchen but she wanted Bella to help this time. She liked having someone around to talk to, and although Bella didn't like shopping like the other girls did, she could always connect with Bella on a different level.

[Bella Cullen]

She loved their family members even if it was one of those things where they could get on her nerves at times. Having a shield she could protect her thoughts, but her mother was not so fortunate. But they would have to accept it, as there was no way that she was going to change her mind, that either of them were. She didn’t like talking about death but she understood her mother’s reasoning for it. Edward and her father would get angry but they would have to deal with it. They both had been told off more times than either of them could count, and both of them were stubborn as once they made up their mind there was no changing it. While she had tried to avoid yelling back at someone, her mother was not afraid to. It was one of the things that she loved about her mother. “Yes they will. I just hope we don’t have to impliment this. Not any time soon. I know they mean well, you know it too, but we have to prepare as you said. Because if the ball is a set up then we need to establish some kind of a plan. To protect ourselves and this family.” She told her mother with an honest and open heart. If there was a chance of an escape she would take it, once she got everyone else out. She wouldn’t leave anyone behind. She couldn’t. That wasn’t the kind of woman she was, or the kind of woman she wanted to be.

She smiled as she looked at her mother. “I haven’t had an oppertunity to bake things as much as I used to when Charlie was alive. Though I would love to be able to bring something to the wolves, and I’m sure Jacob would appreciate it. We’ll have to make quite a bit, I just don’t normally bring things down there to the Reservation as I don’t want to insult Emily as she is just brilliant to be human and taking care of all of them on her own. That’s a lot of mouths to feed especially since their appetite is even bigger than an average group of teenagers can be.” She chuckled as she looked at her mother. But the fact that her mother was offering her a chance to help, made her smile. Her mom rarely ever let anyone help her in the kitchen, it was a good thing really. She was at home...in the kitchen. It was one of the places where she had felt the most comfortable when she had been human. Especially when she had grown up with the kind of child-likemother she had. Which was why she had been happy when she had married and had a wonderfully different kind of mother in Esme. Not that she didn’t love the mother who had brought her into this world, as she had, with her whole heart. But not a day went by that she didn’t think of her, knowing she had moved on to a better place, a place where she was with Phil....and Charlie and Sue. Those four had been together, she was sure, in wherever it was that their souls had gone after their respective deaths. “I’d love that. You know, I’ve always loved cooking. It was something I did all the time when I was human. Charlie never went hungry, though he preferred to eat at the diner, most nights.” She didn’t find it an insult when he wanted to go to the diner, as it was quick and easy, and well Charlie always seemed to be on the go as only the chief of police could be. Although she was not like her sisters at all, when it came to shopping she did enjoy cooking, something her mother knew all too well. There were times when her mother wasn’t in the kitchen that she was.

“Jacob and the other wolves will be happy to know they’re getting additional supplies, especially since from what Jacob’s told me they’re kind of patrolling more than ever, now that we’re back in town. I think Jacob’s just doing it as a precaution more than anything else. And from what Jacob says, even Sam’s got his own pack doing it too. In case any nomads happen to be coming through.”

[esme ann cullen]

It was like Bella knew what she was thinking. Smiling she nodded at her daughter. "I think Edwards power must have rubbed off on you." She chuckled. "I was just thinking that. That they would just have to face up to it because of the ball. We have to make these precautions. We have to have these measures in place in the event of the worst. Its just something we have to think about now." She sighed softly and frowned. She did hope that it would not come to it but there as things they had to think about. Especially now. There was so much to think about. Of course she had her human protections in place. Silly things like wills and what would go where and to who. But there was so much more to think of when you were a vampire.

"You are welcome to bake with me any time you like" She smiled warmly. She knew how much they were alike and knew how much baking meant to her. Charlie was obviously a huge factor in it and sometimes Esme felt that she should not ask in case she upset the poor girl. And that was the last thing she wanted. But she knew now that Bella would like to help so would invite her to more. It was the packs that were getting the most out of all this.

"Yes, I heard him say when he was around the other day about the extra patrols. I do feel for them. Especially since they will know about the ball. They will be on high alert in case anyone comes through here to discuss it." Esme often got angry how much their species presence upset the balance in forks. She did love Forks but she also felt for the poor Quiliet boys that were effected by it.

"So.. what would you like to make?" She pulled down a huge cookbook that Esme herself had made from scratch. She had collected so many recipes over the years and compiled her own book. She had also made many of her own, having all the free time she had she often found herself experimenting just for the hell of it and handing it into a school or something for someone to try. She would wait and watch their expression before deciding to add it or not.