Heart to Heart Conversation (Esme)

[Bella Cullen]

She grinned as she looked at her mother, it was kind of funny to hear her say that her husband’s power must have rubbed off on her. “I don’t need to be a telepath like my husband to know that with the ball coming up, anything is possible. You know as well as I do that it could very well be a set up. I hope not, but you never can tell with the Volturi and what they have been known for. We both know how they had hoped to gain several members of this family simply for their gifts and their gifts alone. I hate to think of it like that, but we both know that if something does happen, we have these precautions in place for a reason. As unfortunate as it is, because you know as well as I do that none of us want to think about losing a member of this family, whether it is to the Volturi or even just death itself. Gran always taught me to be prepared when I was little, so I suppose it kind of makes more sense now.” She had had a will done in the event something like death were to take place. Granted there were so many other things to think about when one was a vampire like she was, but at least God forbid if something were to happen then her family would know which things would go to which person and that kind of a thing. As silly as it might be, it had been beneficial because she’d seen what could happen without those kinds of things in place. Fighting with the lawyers and all the bills....like she had done with Phil and Sue’s case, before they were able to find their wills. She took a deep unneeded breath as she looked at her mother.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. Cooking was always something that calmed me down, and it was the first thing my Gran taught me to keep my hands busy. She said it would keep me out of trouble...and she was right, for the most part. I’ve got recipes that have been handed down from generation to generation from Charlie’s side of the family, same with the others from my human family. Gran said I was always the best help in the kitchen because once I was asked to do something they only had to ask once and it would get done. Aside from Gran everyone else in my family...couldn’t cook to save their lives so it was beneficial for me to learn to do so at a young age.” She grinned when she thought of Gran and her biological mother and father. As well as so many others in which she had lost.

She liked to cook, not just because she had grown up doing so, but because it kept her hands busy. And being a vampire with eternity ahead of her, she needed something to keep herself busy. Even if most of what she would make would go directly to the wolves, as a matter of speaking. Though that did not bother her as she had a lot of friends within the shifter pack, especially Seth Clearwater and her best friend Jacob Black. “So do I. They’re nervous, I think what with the upcoming ball. Jacob doesn’t like it at all. He’s tried to get me to talk Renesmee into staying behind, but you know as well as I do that she wouldn’t do it, no matter who asked. And I wouldn’t force her. But I know how he feels, because I'd feel the same way if I were in his shoes. He loves her, as much as I love Edward and just wants to make sure she's protected and he can't protect her when we go to Volterra since you know shifters wouldn't exactly be welcome with open arms there. So knowing she's going and he can't...makes him even more nervous I think. As far as my daughter is concerned, she just doesn’t see things the way that you and I do." She replied as she ran a hand through her hair.

"You know she’s so excited about going to Volterra and seeing everything for herself. You know I may not hate the Volturi but I certainly am not a big fan of theirs after seeing everything I’ve seen. Though I do understand that there are rules that they have put in place for a reason and that they don’t give second chances. But Jacob and the others will have everything under control when we go to Volterra. I know that our species if you will has created a lot of problems for them. Because you and I both know that when there is a lot of vampires in any one area, the new shifters will soon phase and join the remaining packs. Like with what had happened fifty years ago when we had so many vampires staying with us due to the whole confrontation with the Volturi, and how we were all willing to fight the Volturi, no matter what happened. I guess I feel like no matter what we do, we can’t keep the balance in the city. Forks is our home, just like it is for the Quileutes, it’s just we kind of upset the balance in cities like this because of what we are, and what we tend to cause the shifters to do, which is to phase, and in some cases earlier than they would have been expected to.” She chuckled lightly, knowing it was in fact the honest truth. She did hope that when it all came down to it that things would rebalance itself one way or another.

“I really don’t have anything in mind specifically to make. Honestly I’m just happy for the oppertunity to coook again, or to bake I suppose. Anything you’d like to make, I’d just be happy to help, really.” That kind of thing could be tricky as because she was a vampire she couldn’t exactly taste what she was making so she kind of had to judge by other methods whether something was done, and how well it had turned out. Of course the Quileutes weren’t picky and they would eat anything so often times she could not tell if they liked it or not. When it came to giving things to the school however, that made things a little easier. Plus her daughter was able to taste her cooking to tell her if it was any good or not. Sometimes she had missed being able to taste what she had made, but what she was now, kind of more than made up for missing a few things from her human life. She had a family now, one to watch over and protect at all cost. Something of which she would be doing, for as long as forever held out.

[esme ann cullen]

"Yes they will have to learn but even then they would not have us speak like this. They are very optimistic, but even thats a push in this situation. Plus they would rather stay behind than us, but of course we would never allow it. I think we are just stuck at a truce in this discussion. I would never give in but neither are they so we will just have to see how it unfolds. But whatever happens we have things in place to make sure everyone will be okay even in the event of something going horribly wrong" Esme sighed softly. She really wished they didnt have to think about stuff like that, and that there was never a threat at all. But she couldnt be naive. She knew the danger as well as the next person and she was not going to stand there and let any of the family tell her there wasn't.

Esme smiled glad that she could do something to make Bella happy. Of course baking made her happy and she knew that Bella too had fond memories of it. "There is recipes in here older than I am.. about 200 years old/" She gently ran her hand over the leather bound book and smiled. There was recipes in there from her grandmothers grandmother. She had been given a recipe book by her grandmother for her wedding day. She had added to it over the years and it had now become this colossal leather bound monster.

Esme nodded softly looking sad. She knew how Jacob felt but there was nothing any of them could do to change Nessies mind. She was stubborn like both her mother and father. Esme knew that well, the amount of times she would try to get the girl to do something but ending up sighing and giving up. "She's just excited for the adventure that is all. Sure she knows there is danger but I think she is excited for the ball more than anything else. I feel sorry for Jake though. He will be worried sick, and of course he can not come." Esme sighed again.

Flipping through the recipes as she was speaking she pulled out a recipe for a almond and raisin cake. "How about this?"

[Bella Cullen]

The fact of the matter was that it was an unfortunate set of things to be discussing but it had to be done, as much as she wished it didn’t have to be done. “No, I know. Normally I would agree with them, Mom. But not this time. We cannot be optimistic. You know as well as I do that Aro and the others would love to get their hands on a few of us. I know how Edward and Dad are, they’d rather be the ones staying behind to try and protect us, than to allow us to protect them. It’s because of what Era they each came from. But you and I both know we wouldn’t allow it. We will have to work together, and come to some kind of a truce if they do find out what we have been discussing. We are both so stubborn, Mom. I’m just like you, I wouldn’t give in but I know they wouldn’t either. We can only hope that we don’t have to impliment it, but time will tell. We just have to wait and see what the ball and the choices we make will impact what our future leads to. But perhaps we should have Alice look into the future to see if Marcus, Caius and most importantly, Aro might have decided....better safe than sorry, you know? Because I don’t want to put this family in danger by going. Even if it means risking everything if we don’t. You know as well as I do that I dislike what they did when they targeted us because of my daughter. And I won’t stand by and watch helplessly as our family is targeted again. But you’re right we now have things in place in case something horrible does occur.” She sighed as she looked at her mother. She wanted to get off of this subject. It was getting albeit discouraging, and almost upsetting but she hid her feelings well.

A chuckle escaped her lips as she looked at her mother. “It’s so huge. How do you ever decide what to make?” She asked her mother, curious of course. A smile formed on her face as her mother said how old she was. “Yes but you still don’t look it!” She loved her mother and she would fiercely stand by her side, and shield her without a shadow of a doubt should something occur. She looked at the book. She sighed feeling upset for her oldest friend. Jacob loved her daughter and that was going to be a hard pill to swallow to know she was going somewhere where he couldn’t go.

Not because they didn’t want him around but because it was safer if he didn’t. But her baby girl was exceptionally stubborn and so therefore it took a lot to get her to do something but sometimes it was to the point of giving up. She tried her best not to let it get that far, because she could be as stubborn as her daughter was. “I know, she is. She’s like her father in that regard, and a bit like me. Still I do feel sorry for him too. But I knew he couldn’t come, not that I would have asked. I’ll keep in touch with him as much as I can be while we are in Italy. So that he knows she is safe and sound since he can not be around her. It won’t be the same as being there but it is the best I can do.” She watched as her mother pulled out a recipe. “That sounds absolutely perfect, Mom.” She told her mother as she looked at her. She loved the idea of baking. And as soon as she saw the recipe, she read through it quickly and went to go grab all of the things that the recipe called for. She was careful when it came to collecting all of the ingredients.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme nodded and sighed. There was just so much at stake with the ball. She just did not know what to do. Of course she had to stay strong as she was the mother. She had to show them that they had nothing to fear. But it was almost impossible. They all felt the tension. They all knew the danger they were in. It was just too much to put a smile on. Sure they were getting to dress up and look beautiful but they also had to be practible. As much as she knew all the others would want to wear flowing gowns, they had to dress in a way that they were able to flee if necessary. Esme had yet to go shopping but she knew she would keep it short and sweet. Maybe something with a leg slit so it was easy to move in.

They still had a lot to think about. They all had to sit down and talk about it. Discuss what they will do in the event of it. She knew she would have to get them all sat down in the next couple of days.

Laughing softly she looked at Bella brightly. She was always great with her compliments. It was nice to hear that you still looked young even though you felt so old. She especially liked how she kept calling her mom. Esme chuckled softly again. "Yes, thats a quality that she did take from you both. You are both very stubborn" She smiled softly again as she said she would keep in contact with Jake. She did wish things were different and Jake could come but it was just impossible.

Esme pulled out the baking tools they would need and began to butter the trays so the cake would not stick to the bottom of the pan.

[Bella Cullen]

As a wife and a mother, she was going to do everything she could to protect her family. It wasn’t just because she loved them that she was willing to do it, but because they were innocent. It wasn’t their fault that they had these gifts and the fact that Aro wanted them. She was not afraid of using her gift, as she had gotten full control over it fifty years ago, but still it was not going to be enough to spare their lives should a fight break out. She would do anything and everything she had to to get her daughter out safely. She only hoped there was nothing to fear, but she knew better than that. Even her mother knew it. It was hard to put a smile on her face knowing what was to come but she had to. Sure she knew that the ball they would have to dress beautiful but also practical so that they could still fight if they needed to. Or in case they had to flee. She was going to dress practical, and maybe she and her mother could go shopping together for an outfit.

She still had a lot to think about, they all did. They would have to talk this out rationally as best that could easily happen. She knew that her father and Edward would have a hard time accepting what she and her mother had thought of. She laughed softly with her mother about how things were, when age was not even a factor for them. Sure they were old but they all looked like they were younger than what they really were, which was a great thing. She knew that her mother liked to be called Mom and not a lot of the others would do that. But that was what Esme was to her, a mother. Even with her own biological mother...although dead, Esme would never be able to replace her but she was another mother to her. She was her mother for all intents and purposes. Still the thing was they would have to discuss the ball within the next few days and to know what their approach would be should something happen. Should they need to escape. “Yes, I know Mom, but that’s what scares me, you know she takes more after her father than she does after me. Except I think she’s taken more of my tolerance than she has her father’s on certain things. You know he never did like Jacob or the shifters, I think he only tolerates them the way he does for my sake really. Since I’m good friends with most of them. And our daughter does, she likes them despite it all. Just like I do.”

She girnned, she wished things were different for Jacob and that he could accompany them but that was not the case. It was too dangerous for him. Taking a deep unneeded breath she watched as her mother buttered the bottom of the trays so that the cake wouldn’t stick to it. It was something she had learned a very long time ago from her own grandmother.

[esme ann cullen]

Even baking was not taking her mind off it anymore. She knew that this was going to be a downward spiral for her. She was just going to work herself up every day now thinking about it. Most likely the ball would pass and nothing would happen, it was always her luck. She would then have worried for nothing. She wished that this would be the case. At least she could have said that everything was fine and everyone was safe. But she had no way to guarantee that yet. There was so much uncertainty and thats why she was so anxious.

Sighing softly to herself, she tried to do it as quietly as possible so Bella would not hear. She quickly finished buttering the baking tray and gave Bella a small smile. "Dont worry about her, she is clever as well and knows not to push the line. Plus if anything does go wrong she will be the first one out I will make sure of it" Esme nodded her head slightly and then looked to the recipe. She had a rough plan in her head. She would get the youngest out first, and that would of course be Nessie. They did not have the protection of the packs but they would manage. Hopefully the other covens would band together if things did go wrong. Not just for our sake but for their own.

[Bella Cullen]

The truth was no one...nothing could take her mind off of it, it would appear but baking did manage to remind her of the past and give her something else to think about. Which was a good thing. This was going to be one of those downward spirals where they all would think of the worst and hopefully they would be alright. That everyone would make it out alive. And in one piece. Because she could not imagine seeing someone she loved be brutally killed for no reason at all. She had watched as Irina had died for her mistake but they hadn’t done anything to the Volturi, had they? They had been on their best behavior since she had been with the family, and they had not brought any kind of danger or suspicion into their lives. Their lives had gone on just like before, and this time there was no suspicion of what they were and someone finding them out like she had figured them out years ago. Still there was so much uncertainty that she had to get her mind off of it.

“I know mom, but you know as well as I do that she is just like her father when it comes to pushing things to the edge. It was one of the things I loved about him, but with the Volturi you know how they are, better than I do, and they aren’t the most friendly of vampires. They’d kill you if you so much as look at them the wrong way. I know they would have tried fifty years ago if Alice hadn’t had that vision when she did.” She sighed as she gave her mother a small smile. “That’s all I ask, is that my daughter is not in harm’s way. You know she is the youngest family member we have, and I will not stand by as they try and attack....because I will do anything and everything I have to, in order to save my child. Just like I would for the rest of our family. Since we cannot depend on the packs when we go to the ball since they would kill them on sight. I just hope that the other covens would stand with us should something go down. If not just for our sake but for their own as well.” She sighed as she continued to help her mother bake. It wasn’t the best distraction that she had thought it would be but she had to admit she liked spending time with her mother even if it was talking about a situation in which they could be ripped apart and their bodies burned to pieces. She hoped that would not be the case. She could hear her mother’s sigh. “Try not to worry so much Mom, it’ll be alright. We’ll be alright. Let’s just try and focus on the here and now, and what’s important...okay?” She was hoping that her mom would soon relax, that they both could.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme was really struggling with all this. The more she tried not to think about it the more it crept into her head. It was like a shadow that engulfed her. She was unable to break free. There was just too much to lose. Too much to think about. She wanted more than anything to push it from her head but she just simply could not. She could not believe that this situation had crept up again. The imminent danger. She had thought that everything had settled. fifty years had gone by! It should have settled. But of course the Volturi would hold a grudge for as long as they wanted. They wanted something they could not have and they would keep going till they could.

Esme sighed softly, mixing the ingredients into a bowl she listened to Bella speak. "Nessie will be fine. I promise you that. Do not worry about her." Esme managed a weak smile. "It's getting harder to by the minute" She could no longer keep the fear from her voice.

[Bella Cullen]

She knew that it was going to take a lot to break free of the cycle they were all in. It put them at a disadvantage. One could see how weary she was, and that made her worry. And as a mother that was not a good thing to know. To see her own mother worry, made her worry and she knew if anyone else were around them they would worry too. There was just too much to think about really. Too much to lose, if something went wrong. More than anything she would have liked to avoid the topic all together but she had been keeping an eye on her mother. She could try and help her mother in every way imaginable. Her mother needed her support right now, not to add to her stress. Which was why she was willing to listen to her mother and to give her a sense of peace that she would take over for her if she died. Never had she imagined they would be back to this again.

She was hoping they would have more time together before facing an altercation with the Volturi again. She knew the Volturi could try again but never did she think it would have been only fifty years from their first encounter. They had no reason to do it. Everything should have settled down, the dust should have settled by now but clearly it hadn’t. The Volturi members could hold a grudge for eternity if they chose and she knew there were only few choices in which they had to play. And a few choices in which they could possibly regret later.

A sigh escaped her lips as she looked at her mother. She understood where her mother was coming from when she had said not to worry. “I know...but it’s my instinct to worry just like it is in yours. You’ve worried about us for so long, Mom. You know as well as I do that anything is possible. I don’t fear that Aro would use my daughter, but what I do worry about is that she could get caught in the crossfire. You know I would hate to think of any of us losing someone we loved, as we’ve all faced that more than once.” The imminent threat was the Volturi. This time they would be on their own. There would be no wolves that would be able to help them if things went badly. Part of her wished Jasper was here to help ease her mother’s worries more so than her own. She could handle her own worries but her mother had been a vampire a lot longer than she had, and had seen more than her fair share of heart ache and dispair and she just wanted to ease that for her mother.

“I know and I feel it too, the imminent danger we’re in. But we cannot let it stop us from living our lives while we have them. Even if we struggle to get through the day without thinking about what could happen.” Charlie would be disappointed if they gave in so easily now, she could see that, even though he was no longer with them. She had to be strong, braver than she really was. If not only for her own sake but for her mother’s and the others in which she had sworn to protect when she had become what she was, and had married the man she loved with all of her unbeating heart. She only hoped that in the end they were able to protect eachother, and that no one would have to be left behind.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme feared for every single member of her family. Particularly Nessie. She closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and tried to shake the thought from her head. She could not even bring herself to imagine them getting hurt. Opening her eyes again she kept stirring the mix just purely to keep her hands busy. She had never felt this weak before. Sure she kept her heart on her sleeve, but usually she was good at concealing her feelings. But this whole thing was an exception, she feared so much for their lives. It was different this time though because they had all the coverns behind them and they had had the wolves. But this time they were in the lions den. On their grounds. And this could be very dangerous. In forks they knew the area well so could escape of needed. But they were in Volterra this time and they did not know the area very well. There was too many traps that they could fall into.

"I will never let anything happen to her. I promise Bella she will be the first person out," she felt her teeth grit slightly. She would make sure to get as many people as possible out. If it came to it that was her plan. Flee.

She nodded slightly, unable to look at her daughter anymore. She really needed to go for a walk. To get out of the house and deal wither thoughts. "Bella, I think I need to go for a walk. If you'd like to bake, help yourself. I will clean up later. I need to clear my head." She tapped the girls hand with her own, heading toward the door. There was sometimes where you had to be on your own. And this was one of these times for her.

[Bella Cullen]

Fearing for her life was not something she was worried about, but fearing for the rest of her family's lives was. She watched as her mother closed her eyes for a couple of seconds knowing that they were both worried. She didn’t want to think of her family members getting hurt. She had learned to keep her hands busy in the most natural of ways. Although it didn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that her mother was worried, she didn’t know what else she was feeling. Nor would she ask, as that was something that she knew should be kept private unless her mother wanted to talk about it.

This was the only exception of course, as both of them were discussing something that was going to be a problem for them all. They could go there and be killed. Not that she believed Aro would kill them all but he would probably try if he felt it was the only way to get Alice, Edward and herself. Unlike their last encounter, they wouldn’t have the wolves or other covens behind them. They would be on their own. They would be going into the lion’s den. A place that was just as dangerous as a battle with the Volturi would be. Especially since they would be going to Volterra, an area that she above all else did not know very well. The entire family was in danger, no matter where the Volturi was going to be in their hometown or if they were going there, to Volterra. There was no way they could easily escape in Volterra unlike how they could escape in Forks. In Volterra there were too many things that could happen, too many traps that could easily be fallen into. She knew that if anything they would have to flee, no matter how difficult it was.

“I do appreciate that Mom. But you know it’s not just her, that I worry about. It’s all of us. We’re essentially walking into the lion’s den. Where we have no support and if something does go wrong, there’s no telling if we’ll all be able to make it out in one peace. My worst fear is that Aro might try to collect some of us. Either that, or he’d kill us. But it’s like you and I have discussed, I’ll do what I can to keep this family together and I know you will too.” She put a hand on her mother’s shoulder. More so to comfort her and it was a move that was just an instinct for her to do. After a moment or two she lowered it to the position it had been a few minutes previously. She watched as her mother spoke, and had tapped her hand with her own.


“Sure Mom. Take all the time you need. I’ll stay here. And don’t worry about cleaning up. It’ll be done when you get back.” She smiled at her mother as she watched as the older vampire walked toward the door. She understood her mother’s decision to want to have some time to herself, after everything that happened in their lives, with the good and the bad, it became necessary sometimes to try and escape the thoughts that came up. Especially when one was overwhelmed with a fear or a worry like they were right now. She just hoped in the end they would be alright. She just loved her family so much that she didn’t want to see any harm befall them.

[esme ann cullen]

Esme had looked after their family for a long time and she had experienced everything with them. They had moved about and taken new lives but they had always been together. It was hard having to experience the danger again. There was just so much she wished would change. The ball was the first thing. She knew Aro would never stop. Not until he got what he wanted. But they would never be guards. Their family belonged together not in Italy with them. She felt like going to Volterra herself and having a word with him but of course it was never that easy. She would be killed on the spot if she showed up guns blazing and took him down a few pegs with her words. But in the vampire world it never worked like that.

She smiled at her daughter as she placed her hand on her shoulder to comfort her. It did slightly but Esme was too wound up. She had to go for a walk. She felt almost guilty leaving Bella but she did not want her to experience Esme's mood swings anymore. It was just unfair on the girl. Giving her a slight nod she headed to the door and disappeared out of it. They of course would cross paths again the upcoming days but she just had to get out today.